beyond toxicity

…on Januray 08, 2004, at 3PM, we got married in Santurio de San Antonio, in Forbes Park, Makati City. Reception followed at Dusit Hotel Nikko (then, now Dusit Thani) at 5:30PM.   And from that day on, we’ve been enjoying the fun, the love and even the petty and HUGE problems challenges of raising a family.

HISTORY OF OUR LOVE STORY : When we’re in Med School, (yes, Tina went to the same school but didn’t finish her 3rd and 4th years kasi naloko na sa akin, lol) Tina browsed her older sister’s (who’s my classmate) phonebook and randomly spotted my name that probably appreared to her as so saintly and angelic. She first forwarded mushy quotes and used an alias by name of Marie. Our anonymous texting via 5110 lasted for one whole year!  Remember the Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan-movie, “You’ve Got Mail” ? Our story can passed as  “You’ve got text!” (nyek! sounds like a local horror flick) When I decided to meet her, I was surprised to know that she’s also enrolled in the same school.

OUR FIRST  DATE : It was purely accidental incidental. We we’re just encouraged by mere kantyawan (provocation and teases) by 2 of my classmates who were bestfriends of Tina’s sister. The tuksuhan led to a date in Glorietta, Makati via a meet-up in MRT-Cubao station, lol.  She was wearing baby blue ruffled blouse and black capri pants in heels (Tapos nag MRT lang kami, lol. Pauuwi naman nag-cab!) We had Starbucks Coffee first before watching a Michelle Pfeiffer movie which she preferred (what else but suspense-horror), “What Lies Beneath.” After the movie, we had dinner at Outback (an Australian Steakhouse). I shelled out almost a fortune on our first date (remember how students live by allowances only) but I’ll be forever grateful to Drs. Michelle (not Pfeiffer) and Shiny who teased us until we had that first date, naks!

THEN SHE SAID “YES” : Call me torpe for all I care, but I popped the question indirectly to her, long before Globe Telecom used the line in their local TVC, “Can we take our friendship to the next level?” via what else but text! (BADUUUUY!) I was on duty then at a Surgical-ICU of a public hospital and the ICU-Nurse was probably wondering why I was giggling with my cell phone amidst dying patients –oops! … I got her answer few days after on our way home, when we’re on a California Bus Liner ride before I got off at SM City North EDSA.

THE WEDDING PREP. : After 3 years of dating, we finally decided to tie the knot. We’re guided by my mom in the entire 1 year preparation. Tina designed her own wedding gown but she had her sketched it in a textile shop in SM Megamall. She also did our female secondary sponsors’ .  My wife even designed her head dress, hand-picked all materials herself and brought it to an actual fashion-accessory designer (I’m not sure of what to call the person) in Cubao.

We sourced all textiles used for the entire entourage (except for the principal sponsors who provided their own) from Divisoria and SM Megamall and it was not done on a single day, but for several months due to financial constraints.  My mom asked our family’s costurera who doesn’t have a shop but just an ordinary sewing machine and her expertise, to do the works.  Imagine the labor of Tina’s wedding gown only cost PhP5K!  While my suits and our male secondary sponsors’ were all done by a tailoring shop in Cubao.  These were all done in the name of practicality.

THE WEDDING VENUE : We chose Makati for our relatives to meet-half way.  Most of Tina’s relatives are from Ayala, Alabang, Quezon City, and US while mine are from Marikina and Pasig Cities.  The proximity of the church to the reception site was also considered. We even went to Fernwood Gardens in Quezon City but Tina really wanted a grand ballroom for the reception over a garden / open-air one, so we booked 2 of the 3 sections of Dusit Hotel’s several months before the wedding.

THE WORST WEDDING COORDINATOR : After Tina and I hopped from 1 Wedding Expo to another for few months in 2003, my mom suggested to hire a wedding DAY coordinator, whose name I’d like to withhold but if you’ll ask me, I’ll tell you to serve as warning! We agreed to our mom’s suggestion for there should be someone in control of the day itself.  We met the lady coordinator 3x in different restaurants, treated her over meals, and gave our trust to her.

When Tina and I and the rest of our family were in Dusit Hotel already on the morning of our wedding, we were surprised to meet UNKNOWN PEOPLE who introduced themselves as STAFFS of this events coordinator who was a NO-SHOW on our big day! Had she became honest enough to us that she cannot attend our wedding and would just send her people whom we never met, we could have been more prepared.  Imagine UNKNOWN PEOPLE asking for the 12 bottles of wines for toasting, the wedding rings and stuffs.  Had she told us that she had on-going conflict then with our photographer whom we personally sourced, then we could have not favored her. And did I mention that one of those UNKNOWN PEOPLE kept on shouting at our guests! She even yelled at my sister-in-law and the hotel’s banquet sales manager!

WORST WEDDING INCIDENTS: Due to lack of proper ”coordination”, I had to put the table codes (we used codes like bliss, faith, love, joy, respect etc instead of table numbers for guests) myself at the grand ballroom of Dusit on the morning of my wedding. The waiters were not informed by the coordinator because the seat plan was not endorsed!  Toxic talaga! But worst wasn’t over yet…

Imagine the “Unknown coordinator staffs” instructed the entire entourage to queue when in fact the officiating priest wasn’t there yet! Parang na-wow-mali ang mga Ninong at Ninang namin! (Buti na lang I was intuitive) I only discovered it when I was on the line myself next to my brother who stood as my best man,  I asked the “unknown coordinators” if they have given a copy of our misallettes to the priest who’s one of our family friends.  Then the “unknown coordinators” looked at each others cluelessly.

I had to go to the parish office and look for an “emergency” substitute priest. Luckily, the then principal of Collegio de San Agustin was available, so he officiated the first part of the mass.  Then when the time came that Tina and I have to exchange rings, our “original officiating priest” appeared in full golden regalia. Everybody was surprised including us in the altar. Everybody thought that our wedding was a HIGH MASS that we required 2 priests to conduct the ceremony.

It was only after the wedding when we learned that our “original priest”  came to the church an hour earlier but had to rushed himself to Makati Medical Center because of Angina Pectoris (chest pain that may lead to heart attack).

With an entire year of preparation, Tina and I thought that everything will be polished but there’s really nothing perfect.   Shit Inevitable circumstance happens.

One more evil thing that our wedding day coordinator did to us : On contract, there’s an emcee to host the program included of her PhP15K package, and we were promised that the hostess will be articulate, a granddaughter of a well-known politician, only to find out during the actual reception that her words were so untrue. That she sent a PREGNANT-HOSTESS whose gravid uterus clearly looked like 9 months, she LITERALLY CUT OUR WEDDING PROGRAM which Tina and I designed, SHORT! Nasayang ang wedding quartet at ang disco mobile!  Hindi namin na-maximize.

Tina and I, puzzled with all that happened the entire day, forgot to asked the wait staff of Dusit to bring us some left overs, especially the cake, to our honeymoon suite that evening. Everything was charged to experienced.

Two days after, we flew to Bangkok where Gabby was “made”.

Inspite of all the unapparent (to our guests) hassles that day, our wedding date remains to be only a day in our lives.  What matters most is how you keep the marriage, naks!

I may have bored you to death, so enough with the stories, now the photos…

At the RECEPTION…

There were paper luminarias with our insignia that lighted up the wooden bridge with two fountains that served as entrance to the main ballroom..

Almost everything, from misalletes to our gazebo, was custom-made and installed by my mom’s work staffs.

Our cake was by Dexter’s, included in the hotel package.

Those bride and groom teddy bears were at the floral arrangement in front of our wedding car.   The wedding car, which was also part of the Dusit package, was upgraded to a LINCOLN STRETCH for FREE!  Having it was one of the most relieving parts of our wedding! We’re told by the hotel’s banquet sales manager that the wedding car we’re supposed to have, had engine trouble hence the luck!

All photos of our wedding were taken by ace photographer Ariel Javelosa. You may view our entire album –here.

PS : What makes a wedding album and video worth viewing again ? It’s so nice to see our old selves several kilos lighter!

Few more wedding anniversary posts until the weekend! Thanks!