beyond toxicity

Some of the most worthwhile endeavors in life aren’t easy. Whoever said,  “Any man can be a father but it takes a ton of efforts to be a Dad”  really understood what fatherhood is all about.  As Gabby’s Big Daddy for almost 8 years now, each day is a happy one. In fact, life could never be better; however a constant challenge too.  It’s not simple to offer quality time and devote your entire life with unconditional love to your kid. To someone who would claim otherwise, I am definite he/she has not yet experienced being one, therefore has no right to make accusations or pass judgment. Waking up every morning to go to work to provide for the family is beyond purposeful. It actually transcends manhood.  Being there when your son asks you to be with him, thinking of his condition when he’s sick and you’re at work, listening to every intuitive queries a growing boy has, playing with him when there’s something more to do are very far from being uncomplicated. Things that come with being a parent can certainly take a lot of time to accomplish, even longer time to get things right. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think there’s no school that teaches Perfect Parenthood 101, right? You eventually learn it as you become one. Life is somehow fulfilled no matter how imperfect, if you have your own child. No amount of money, recognition or success however you quantify it, can surpass the joys of raising a kid; every minute is a bliss!

And my nose is getting taller each day seeing Gabby grow and spending moments with him is nothing but priceless!

On the other hand, it may not be apparent because we’re not that expressive, I am grateful to my own Daddy. He worked as a (Safeway) Supermarket Manager for nearly 2 decades in most countries in the Middle East (while my mom was working back home as an Accountant/Comptroller) and  of course,  he’s a big part of whatever we (me & my 3 brothers) have become. Despite his own imperfections as a father to us or at least to me, regardless of whatever we’ve been through as a family, no matter how faulty he is, he remains to be our one and only Daddy. And I remain thankful.

On a lighter note,  I snatched this family photo from my paternal clan’s facebook account; the picture was taken some time in the 1960s with my entire paternal family. My Daddy Benruh (reverse nickname of Ruben) seated immediately beside my late grandfather, was noted to be a “pasaway” (insert English translation here) even as early as those days (until now, right Daddy? hehehehe!). Proof to that, according to the comment on this photo by my 3rd brother posted on fb, was the wound on his knee. Although to be honest, I never took any measures to ask him of the cause of that wound he had on this photo, it might be from a pure accident, who knew.

My late paternal grandfather (seated beside my aunt, and my lola or his wife next to my aunt), apparently raised all of his children well (Can you count them all in photo?) and my daddy (and mommy) has reared 4 boys and here I am, I only have one (for now);  I can’t help but imagine how more complex fatherhood was for my lolo and my dad.

Fatherhood, obviously like motherhood to women, is a lifelong commitment. I highly consider it as my greatest blessing! It is my pleasure until my last breath and my life’s biggest achievement to be Gabby’s Big Daddy!